You Gotta Believe (In Moderation)

You Gotta Believe (In Moderation)
Air date	January 29, 2006
Written by	Kit Boss
Directed by	Yvette Kaplan
Episode guide
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Next	"Business Is Picking Up"

"You Gotta Believe (In Moderation)" is the one hundred-ninety-third episode of King of the Hill. It was aired first on January 29, 2006. The episode was written by Kit Boss and directed by Yvette Kaplan.

Summary

To get the middle school baseball team new uniforms, Hank arranges an exhibition game between a comedic, Harlem Globetrotter-esque softball squad and the Zephyrs. But things go south in a hurry when Hank doesn't realize who he's messing with.

Plot

Hank's softball team, the Zephyrs, wins their final game after Dale manages to get a hit, with Hank later remarking that Dale won the game because he believed in himself. This win also makes the Zephyrs the first undefeated season for any softball league in Heimlich County. Hank is invited to speak at Tom Landry Middle School; however, when he wishes to share his story with the baseball team, Principal Moss shares with Hank that the team was dissolved due to lack of money. Hank gives the "believe to achieve" speech, but when one boy asks how that will get the baseball team back, Hank is perplexed.

While thinking of a way to raise money to save the team Peggy suggests inviting a famous baseball team, The Ace of Diamonds and his Jewels (consisting of only three players, first baseman, catcher and pitcher), a team that plays comically and mainly to entertain the audience, much like the Harlem Globetrotters. The Ace of Diamonds and his Jewels are undefeated as their opposing teams play more for entertainment rather than to win. The Ace also has a tradition of donating the lion's share of the money from ticket sales to charity (Peggy remarks the team keeps 10% for expenses). At a barbecue to celebrate the Zephyrs' undefeated season, Hank announces they will be playing the Ace of Diamonds and his Jewels. The team looks more downcast than happy, thinking that will ruin their undefeated streak. Hank remarks that the Zephyrs could win, arguing that former MLB players like the Ace must be sick of doing all those goofy stunts and are looking for a challenge. Hank advertises the upcoming game as "The Battle of the Undefeateds".

As news spreads that Arlen Zephyrs team is playing the Ace of Diamonds and his Jewels dozens of people buy tickets and the stands are packed. The Ace, the leader of the team, privately tells Hank a few routines they do to make it entertaining, but Hank completely ignores these routines and bunts; Dale pulled the same stunt in "Take Me Out of the Ball Game." Confused by Hank's attempt to actually win, Hank easily scores. After Boomhauer bunts and makes it to base, the Ace and his Jewels realize that Hank and his team aren't going along with the program, and they angrily begin playing seriously. The Ace, a skilled pitcher, strikes out every single hitter while his Jewels prove to be incredibly talented batters. The game ends with the Ace and his Jewels beating the Zephyrs 63-1. Meanwhile, most of the audience has left because, with the Ace playing seriously rather than comically, the game became incredibly boring. Hank tries to say while they had a debacle, at least the kids will get the check. However, to Principal Moss and Hank's shock, the Ace furiously takes the check away from them and drives off in his RV, keeping the check for himself. He retorts to Hank that if the Tom Landry team plays anything like the Zephyrs, they don't deserve financial support.

The game has humiliated Arlen, as local radio says men took their wives and kids to see a fun game and all they saw was "Hank Hill bunting and the Ace taking batting practice." Hank realizes this is all his fault and he must smooth things over with the Ace to get the check back. Hank buys a baseball program of the Ace of Diamonds and his Jewels and the entire Zephyrs show up in another town. The Ace, who has just finished one of his usual "fun games" and is seducing a female stadium employee in his RV, is annoyed at seeing "the Bunt Brothers", as he refers to the team that ruined his Arlen game. Hank protests that Tom Landry Middle School needs the check, and asks why was the Ace being stubborn given his public reputation as a philanthropist. The Ace reveals his ulterior motive for each game: while the charity gets the check, he usually makes a few thousand dollars when the entertained crowd buys trinkets from him, and he often scores a roll in the hay with a native girl. But due to the Zephyrs' boring stunt, the Ace was left with a bunch of unsold merchandise and went to bed by himself that night. Despite Hank's pleas for another, "normal style" Ace game, the Ace spitefully refuses and goes back to seducing the lady. Hank uses his earlier "believe in yourself" talk to get the entire Zephyr team to rock Ace's RV in the last hope of redeeming Arlen. The Ace tells them to cut it out, but Hank says they can keep doing this in every city the Ace of Diamonds & his Jewels plays, for he knows the game schedule as Ace's wife sold him the program. Enraged that she is with a married man, the woman promptly leaves. Realizing Hank has ruined yet another chance of his philandering, the Ace throws the team the giant check and tells them to leave him alone before driving away. The Zephyrs cheer as Hank's prediction ultimately came true: they, and not the Ace, were the ones handing over the giant check.

Back in Arlen, the Zephyrs watch the opening day of Tom Landry Middle School's baseball season. One of the players bunts, and Hank remarks he is glad to see baseball as to how it was intended, simple and loyal to its fundamentals.

Characters

Characters with a (Z) are on the Zephyrs team.

• Hank Hill (Z)
• Peggy Hill (Z)
• Bobby Hill
• Dale Gribble (Z)
• Bill Dauterive (Z)
• Jeff Boomhauer (Z)
• Ace
• Donna (Z)
• Enrique (Z)
• Bob Jenkins (Z)
• Buck Strickland
• Principal Moss
• Sports Jock of Sports Jock and Chad (voiced by Mac Davis)
• Chad of Sports Jock and Chad (voiced by David Herman)
• John Redcorn (Z) (non-speaking)
• Luanne Platter (non-speaking)
• Joseph Gribble (non-speaking)
• Nancy Gribble (non-speaking)
• Clark Peters (non-speaking)
• Shawn (non-speaking)
• Susie (non-speaking)
• Leventhal (non-speaking)
• Judy (non-speaking)
• Ladybird

Stinger Quote

• Buck Strickland: "I ain't your daddy!"

Trivia

• The name of the episode is a pun on Mets closer Tug McGraw's "You gotta believe" phrase during the '73 New York Mets season.
• The fictional baseball team "The Ace of Diamonds and His Jewels" is based on an exhibition softball team lead by Eddie "The King" Feigner and his four-man team known as "The King and His Court." However, Feigner was not known for being a glory hog, letting it be well known that the point of games was to amuse the audience, not embarrass opponents. "When a man steps up to the plate, we have nothing but respect for him" was a saying associated with the King and His Court. Feigner also earned a reputation of playing for charity, with the chief mission being veterans' aid, likely because Feigner was a retired U. S. Marine.
• When the Ace says he has his "picture on some of that gum that looks like tobacco", he is referring to Big League Chew, a bubblegum-based tobacco alternative originally marketed to baseball players. The gum features a cartoon caricature of a generic baseball player on the pouch, but at certain times did vary it up by showing images of real world players akin to baseball cards.

Quotes

Hank: We're gonna play good D and lots of small ball, and we're gonna win, because the whole season we did what?
Zephyrs: (In unison) Believe to achieve!
Enrique: (Rips off his shirt, much to the Zephyr's shock) I believe Hank, we'll win! Because our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ chose us to win! (Grabs Bob Jenkins' glass and slams it on the ground).
Hank: (Bewildered) Uh, ok Enrique?