Yard, She Blows!

Yard, She Blows!
Air date	January 23, 2005
Written by	Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin
Directed by	Jennifer Barrow
Episode guide
Previous	Death Buys a Timeshare
Next	Dale to the Chief

Yard, She Blows! is the one hundred-seventy-fifth episode of King of the Hill. It was first aired on January 23, 2005. The episode was written by Sivert Glarum and Michael Jamin, and directed by Allan Jacobsen.

Synopsis

Peggy is jealous that Hank always gets complimented on the yard and house, so she attempts to start a garden in the front yard. Hank reluctantly agrees, assuring Peggy she will find her statement. However, every plant Peggy tries to grow quickly wilts and dies, diminishing their house's reputation. Peggy is frustrated that she can't grow any flower that feels impressive. At Luanne's suggestion, they stop at an estate sale, where Peggy discovers and buys Winklebottom the garden gnome. Peggy places Winklebottom in her garden in the front yard, which embarrasses Hank, as he believes garden gnomes are unsightly.

He attempts to personally block the gnome from view from passers-by, until Peggy notices and expresses her feelings. The next person to jog by immediately notices Winklebottom, she is inferred to be a middle-aged spinster/geek. She coos over the gnome and begins to inform Peggy on "garden gnome lore", which Peggy seems to find charming, while Hank reacts in his usual manner to what he feels is such an asinine hobby. The jogger also assesses Winklebottom to be a rare hand-crafted 1930's original from Germany, which further impresses Peggy on her own taste.

Peggy and Bobby are next seen reading a large book full of whimsical facts on garden gnomes, thoroughly enjoying themselves. Bobby seems to love the gnome as much as Peggy, and Hank tries to ignore his growing discomfort and embarrassment for the family. Bobby plays a game in the yard, pretending to be a Secret Service Agent taking a bullet for "President Winklebottom", and accidentally knocks the gnome against the front walk, cleanly chipping his ear off. When a panic-stricken Bobby presents the broken gnome to Hank, Hank is seen to assess the damage as easily fixable; the break is clean, he has outdoor ceramic glue at-the-ready; but he instead lies to Bobby that the gnome is unrepairable. He then ropes Bobby into his conspiracy get rid of Winklebottom. At first they try to dump the gnome in a different neighborhood's trash; but out of fear of getting caught, Hank drives them to the Heimlich County Forest and buries Winklebottom in a shallow grave, backing over it several times for good measure.

The next morning, Peggy sees her gnome is gone and begins to panic; Hank and Bobby give a cover-story that they were out and so have no idea what happened to the gnome. Peggy escalates and calls the police, who presume vandals stole the lawn gnome and assure Peggy that even if they could find it, she wouldn't want it back after what they probably did to it. Thinking that some anti-social degenerates took her gnome, Peggy becomes depressed and expresses that all she wanted was the same kind of compliments that Hank gets for taking care of the lawn. Finally realizing he was self-centered, Hank attempts to take the blame, leaving Bobby's accident out and pretending he destroyed Winklebottom in a pure hatred of gnomes. Ironically, Peggy realizes Hank is covering for someone and accuses Bobby of breaking it while playing one of his "weird little games", Hank and Bobby maintain Bobby's innocence, but Peggy immediately grounds Bobby. While delivering a room-bound Bobby his dinner and no dessert, (even though there's pudding in his sock) Bobby suggests to his father that he should try to find a replacement at a German-themed tourist town outside of Arlen. Hank agrees and Peggy says lights-out; when Bobby fails to immediately comply, Peggy says it louder.

While there, Hank attempts to buy "one Winklebottom" from a gnome-specialty store. To Hank's shock, the shopkeeper sarcastically explains that Winklebottom gnomes are extremely rare and worth a fortune. Hank then sees a nearly-identical gnome behind the counter, Figgleforth, and demands to purchase it despite the shopkeeper assuring him the two gnomes have "different personalities". An old lady comes up to the counter and insists she saw the gnome first, causing an argument between her and Hank. She grills him on gnome-lore, but Hank retaliates that he emphatically hates gnomes but is doing it to make his wife happy. Neither the shopkeeper or the old lady are impressed, but when the lady's credit card is declined, Hank offers to pay in cash.

Hank presents the Figgleforth to Peggy, this time honestly telling her it was Bobby's idea. However, Peggy is so glad to have Figgleforth so much, she realizes that the Winklebottom's "death" was all Hank, and it was never Bobby's fault in the first place. She makes it up to Bobby by ending his punishment and proudly displays her new Figgleforth in her garden. Despite Hank now accepting her gnome's presence in his yard, Peggy still is afraid of vandals, and Hank is overjoyed that she wants to display it inside instead. In the last scene, Figgleforth is displayed on Peggy's dresser, forcing a perturbed Hank to change inside his closet.

Quotes

Hank: "Why would anyone do drugs when they could mow the grass"