The Final Shinsult

The Final Shinsult
Air date	March 15, 1998
Written by	Alan R. Cohen & Alan Freedland
Directed by	Jack Dyer
Episode guide
Previous	"Hank's Dirty Laundry"
Next	"Leanne's Saga"

"The Final Shinsult" is the thirtieth episode of King of the Hill. It was first aired on March 15, 1998. The episode was written by Alan R. Cohen and Alan Freedland, and directed by Jack Dyer.

Summary

When Cotton is determined to have his driver's license renewed, concerns for his well-being and his relationship with Didi are brought to light and Hank must try to resolve them.

Plot

At Tom Landry Middle School, Peggy fills in for Mrs. Dorland, on sick leave due to hantavirus. Some students reenact a battle from the Mexican-American War, one in which the Illinois Volunteer Infantry captured the artificial leg of Mexican General Antonio López de Santa Anna in 1847. When the reenactment ends, Peggy explains that the general's prosthesis, which has been on display in an Illinois museum for over a century, is about to be returned to Mexico by the United States government. The leg is currently on tour and the Arlen museum is its last stop in the U.S. Meanwhile, Cotton informs Hank that he and Didi have split up for good. Since Didi had acted as his chauffeur, Cotton must now pass an eye exam to renew his driver's license. Concerned that his father would present a danger to the public, Hank deliberately sabotages his father's efforts to recite a memorized eye chart during the test. Later, when Cotton learns from Dale that his own son conspired against him, he moves in with Dale and his family.

Dale is so flattered to have Cotton in his home that he creates a phony driver's license for the old man, though the back reveals that it was made from a General Mills Cheerio box. Cotton's attempts to drive cause him to crash into a parking meter. A policewoman first asks Cotton to step out of his car and show her his driver's license but then places him under arrest after he slaps her buttocks. However, the officer declines to book Cotton, whom she only held in her squad car, and gives Hank custody of him, believing that Cotton suffers from senile dementia. When Hank drives Cotton back to his house, he immediately hops out of the truck and goes to Dale's house. Hank attempts to forge a reconciliation with Didi, who recalls how Cotton, a lover of large rear ends, fell for her after catching a view of her posterior magnified through an overturned jar. According to Didi, Cotton broke up the relationship because her derriere is now too small. In an attempt to win back his father, Hank asks Cotton to chaperone Bobby on a museum trip. Flattered, Cotton takes up the offer. But Cotton grows angered during the museum tour, insisting that Santa Anna's prosthetic leg should never be returned to Mexico. Later, he and Dale make off with the prosthesis.

Cotton believes the U.S. government will grant him his driver's license in exchange for the leg. But when the police arrive at Dale's house, they drag Cotton away and place him in the psychiatric ward at the VA Hospital. A doctor informs Hank that if his father does not remain at the facility, he will require round-the-clock supervision. Unwilling to allow his father to rot away, Hank comes up with a plan. He brings Didi to the VA Hospital and the couple falls in love all over again. Didi drives Cotton back home. During the ceremony where the leg was to be relinquished to Mexico, Captain Barissimo de Fino, who similarly has lost one of his legs, seemingly wears Santa Anna's prosthesis, only for it to fall apart almost as soon as he stands up while using it. Meanwhile, Cotton stops by the Department of Motor Vehicles office in Mexico and trades the genuine leg for a driver's license.

The end credits stinger has Hank talking about how General Santa Anna's leg is real and there is a dispute between the United States and Mexico over which country legally owns the leg.

Characters

• Hank Hill
• Peggy Hill
• Bobby Hill
• Luanne Platter
• Dale Gribble
• Joseph Gribble
• Nancy Gribble
• Jeff Boomhauer
• Bill Dauterive
• Cotton Hill
• Didi Hill
• Stuart Dooley
• Clark Peters
• Barissimo de Fino
• Connie Souphanousinphone
• Policewoman
• Judy (non-speaking)
• Tom (non-speaking)
• Susie (non-speaking)
• Shawn (non-speaking)
• Leventhal (non-speaking)
• Mrs. Dorland (mentioned)
• Bill Clinton (indirectly mentioned)
• John Redcorn (indirectly mentioned)

Stinger Quote

• Cotton: "That's a good one, babycakes!"

Trivia

• The title of the episode is a reference to The Naked Gun movie, Naked Gun 33 ¹/₃: The Final Insult.
• During the credits of the episode, it is revealed that the subplot involving General Santa Anna's leg is actually true and it is still being held in an Illinois museum. What was not mentioned was that the Texas legislature passed a resolution in 1942 requiring the leg to be returned to Mexico should it ever make its way into Texas. This may be the reason why it was required in the episode to be returned to Mexico when it reached Texas. As of this date, the U.S. National Guard, a federal military body that has claimed ownership of the wooden leg currently within the confines of a military museum in Decatur, Illinois, has not complied with the Texas state resolution.
• This was the first time that Cotton's knack for slapping women in the rear end is shown to land him into police custody. In reality, this habit of Cotton's does constitute a sexual battery charge under subsection §22.01(a)(3) of the Texas Penal Code, though somehow, he was not shown to be arrested before this, even when he did this once to Luanne or on other occasions, such as when he did this to a local waitress in "Shins of the Father". This may be because no other women had the authority to directly arrest Cotton.
• The music heard in this episode when Cotton and Didi first met and then later when they fall in love again is "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree" by the Andrews Sisters. The song is a World War II-era song about love, as well as devotion to one's dating partner and also devotion to one's spouse. Cotton has also never hid his fondness for the Andrew Sisters.
• Dale wears a Mack truck hat for most of the series. When Dale and Cotton are looking in the closet during this episode, the top shelf is filled with several similar hats.
• Cotton tells Hank that he and Bobby are going to rent an RV and drive to all 50 states in 50 days. However, it is not possible to drive to Hawaii, and driving to Alaska involves going through Canada.

Goofs

• Cotton comes to Arlen to go to the Arlen DMV to renew his driver's license. In Texas, however, driver's licenses are issued by the DPS (Department of Public Safety), not the DMV.

Quotes

"Cotton: Alright clerky. Now take down the first letter of every word I say: 'Some Day, (pause) Governor Reagan (pause) Will Run (pause) For President'. I pass, Gimme the license!
DPS Clerk: Wow, I've never seen anyone miss every single letter; you fail!
Cotton: What!? Look at it again! 'Some day'! That's S, D! As in 'Stupid Dummy'! That's you, tell him Hank!"

"Hank: Take it easy dad! (Luanne and Hank pull their plates away from Cotton's grasp) Take it easy!
Cotton: (Enraged) You see, Bobby?! Your daddy's generation's giving away everything we fought for! Panama canal! Mexican lands! You people give back Gandhi's diapers if you had 'em!"

"Cotton: I come in here once a year to get my shins drained. I don't take no anesthetic! Did Lincoln ask for some girly gas before they blowed his head off!"