|Season 2, Episode 3|
|Air date||October 19, 1997|
|Written by||Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger|
|Directed by||Klay Hall|
Texas City Twister
As Hank shows off his brand-new rototiller to his friends, the machine's blade strikes (what he believes is) a rock. Peggy tells Hank the object in question is actually an Indian arrowhead. Shortly thereafter, while smoothing dirt with a rake, Hank happens upon another object. Intrigued, Hank shows it to John Redcorn, who explains that the artifact is a sacred Indian tool used for straightening an arrow's shaft and places its value at fifty dollars (roughly the same cost as a new rototiller blade). Hank brings the artifacts to a local university, where Professor Lerner (voiced by Maurice LaMarche), a tall, frightening man, belittles their value, throwing the arrowhead into the trash) and offers him ten dollars. Disappointed, Hank takes the money and leaves. Moments later, Lerner removes the arrowhead from the garbage, and gingerly places the arrowhead inside a plastic bag for safe keeping. The next day, Lerner and some graduate students show up on the Hill front lawn. Peggy falls for Lerner's compliments and fake smile and signs a document granting him and his students access to the property. But Hank loses his cool when he sees Lerner digging into his precious lawn with a mechanical shovel.
Hank orders everyone off his property, but Lerner points out that the document Peggy signed transformed the area into a protected archaeological site. As Lerner continues excavating, Peggy develops a crush on the learned professor. Hoping to expose her son to the fine art of conversation, and despite Hank's objections, Peggy invites Lerner inside for dinner. During the meal, Lerner shows off a replica of an intricately woven Wahasha bracelet, a symbol of bonding between an Indian brave and his sweetheart. Later, Hank notices the bracelet on his wife's wrist.
Jealous and suspicious, Hank concocts a scheme to embarrass Lerner in front of his students. Using chicken bones and some twine, he fashions a fake Indian necklace and buries it beneath the lawn. His plot begins unraveling, however, when Peggy, not Lerner, discovers the "artifact." As a crowd of grad students gathers around, Lerner asks Peggy for her opinion about the necklace. Peggy hypothesizes that the object is a warrior necklace made from finger bones of the enemy. Lerner ridicules the conclusion, belittling Peggy before the class and causing her to break down. When Hank admits it was he who planted the fake necklace, Peggy realizes her husband did so out of jealousy. Lerner snickers, telling Hank he could have had sex with his wife for the price of a phony bracelet. Angered, Hank pushes the professor into a nearby pit...as do Peggy and Bobby Hill.
- Hank Hill
- Peggy Hill
- Bobby Hill
- Luanne Platter
- Dale Gribble
- Nancy Gribble
- Jeff Boomhauer
- Bill Dauterive
- John Redcorn
- Professor John Lerner
- This is the first episode where Dale is seen as clearly bald under his hat, which is consistent with the remainder of the series. In previous episodes, he is shown to have to have at least a small amount of hair on the top of his head.
- It is revealed in this episode that Bobby at some point had a pet cat.
- Hank comments that the professor's alma mater, The University of Chicago, has no football team. In fact, the university has a rich football tradition and currently fields a NCAA Division III team.