"Square-Footed Monster" is the third episode in the 13th season of King of the Hill, and the 238th episode overall. It originally aired on October 19, 2008. It was written by Jerry Collins and directed by Kyounghee Lim. Chris Elliott guest stars.
Summary[]
A cheaply-made McMansion is built on Rainey Street thanks to Ted Wassanasong, and, after Kahn finds out that Ted won't be moving in and the house's construction causes problems, the neighbors team up to tear it down during a violent storm.
Plot[]
After the death of Bill's next-door neighbor Dotty Dwyer, Hank and the guys are recruited by Dotty's nephew Eric Dwyer to help fix up her house and make it market-ready. Within a day of completing the necessary repairs the house is sold, to the satisfaction of the guys. Their short-lived satisfaction turns to shock, however, when demolition crews move in on the house first thing the following morning, and they discover that Ted Wassanasong, having been informed of the property through flyers posted around the Nine Rivers Country Club by Kahn, is behind the demolition. To their further dismay, Ted reveals his plans to erect a "dream home" on the lot, in the form of an oversized, excessively fancy residence that he has no intent to live there himself but is instead building to sell.
The balance of the neighborhood is greatly upset by the building of the new home, as construction crews disrupt the peace with their early morning activity, dust and fumes, and crude manners that Bobby and Joseph begin imitating. Seeking to end the disruption, Hank and the guys head to the Arlen Town Hall to appeal to the zoning board to no avail. When they resort to starting a petition, the town clerk drops the name of Edgar Hornsby as an expert in legal loopholes. Though Hornsby himself wishes to help, he is unable to find anything of use in halting the construction. The completion of the home does not improve things either: the building is horribly incongruous in both size and style with the rest of the neighborhood, and the shadows from the massive house block out the sun in adjacent yards, including the Hills' yard.
One night, a severe storm rolls in, and the McMansion's shoddy workmanship and flimsy materials are no match for the strong winds. The building sways back and forth as pieces of it break off and slam into neighboring houses, and eventually it sways far enough to begin crushing part of Bill's house. Realizing what must be done, the residents of Rainey Street use every tool they have at hand, including Lucky's truck, to manually tear the house down before it does any more damage to their own homes. The next morning, Ted comes by to inspect the damage and, finding evidence of damage from tools, takes the neighborhood to court at the Heimlich County Courthouse.
Thanks to film footage of the initial storm damage from Nancy and expert testimony from Edgar Hornsby, the judge rules that Hank and the others acted justifiably. However, Ted subsequently uses an eminent domain clause to sell the lot to the city, and coldly informs Hank and the guys that the neighborhood will soon have a new, and equally incongruous, electrical substation. Using another Hornsby loophole, though, the guys build a façade around the substation to make it look from the street like another normal house once again stands in the lot.
Characters[]
- Hank Hill
- Peggy Hill
- Bobby Hill
- Dale Gribble
- Bill Dauterive
- Jeff Boomhauer
- Eric Dwyer
- Luanne Platter
- Lucky Kleinschmidt
- Ted Wassanasong
- Kahn Souphanousinphone
- Joseph Gribble
- Nancy Gribble
- Edgar Hornsby
- Courthouse Judge
- Doggie
- Excavator operator (voiced by Stephen Root)
- Arlen City Hall clerks (voiced by Abby Elliott and Pamela Adlon)
- Rutkowski Septic employees
- Manny
- Jury members
- Ed Burnett
- Vicky Wilson (non-speaking)
- Fritz Kubiak (non-speaking)
- Dotty Dwyer (mentioned)
- Arlen City Hall employees
- Mark Grayson (named)
- Ryan Sorbet (named)
- Steve Moto (named)
- Eliot R. Brown (named)
- David Campbell (named)
- Ruben Martinez (named)
- Dave Johnson (named)
- Tim Townsend (named)
Stinger Quote[]
- Lucky Kleinschmidt: "Woo wooo wooo wooo.. wee ohhh... wee ohhh!"
Trivia[]
- The episode title is likely an allusion to the concept of the Monster Home which has different local derogatory names. Monster homes are generally quite a lot larger than the typical home in an established neighborhood and tend to ignore the customary architecture as well. Many, though not all, are built with an eye to fast profit and are of substandard quality with a very impractical layout, looking impressive from the outside but having silly features inside like small rooms with no obvious purpose. Otherwise known as the McMansion built on mass produced parts or in an assembly line fashion.
- Bill is shown eating Baron Von Appleberry cereal, and owning boxes of Count Crispula, Captain Yummy Puff (with Great Piratey Taste), and Mr. Turtlebee's Sugar Shells, the latter of which features a Win a Breakfast With Chuck Mangione contest on the back of the box.
- After Luanne tied the chain around the pillar of Ted's home, Lucky used his truck [with the chain attached to his truck] to the dismantle the home. This following scene shows Luanne moving away from the falling pillar, but as she ran to safety, the pillar appeared to have hit her right leg. However, she remained unharmed as if she was never hit.
- The names of the zoning board members at Arlen Town Hall are taken from the board members in the Season 4 episode "Flush with Power", though their physical appearances are drastically different, and Violet's name was changed to Vicky.
- Chris Elliott guest stars for the third time in the series as Ed Burnett. His first two appearances are as Rob Holguin in the Season 8 episode "After the Mold Rush" and as Chris Sizemore throughout Seasons 11 and 12.
- Edgar Hornsby is voiced by Bob Elliott, who was the father of Chris Elliott, who voices councilman Ed Burnett. Chris Elliott is the father of Abby Elliott, who voices Clerk #1. This is the only episode of the series to feature voices from three generations of one family of performers.
- Dale says, "He needs to throw a briefcase like Mr. Brady", referencing a courtroom scene in The Brady Bunch episode "The Fender Benders."
- Lucky says that Perry Mason was gay; the character did not have much of a love life beyon dflirting with his female secretary, Della Street, but he was played by a gay actor, Raymond Burr.
Quotes[]
- (Ted has just sold the lot to the city, who has made it into a power station)
Kahn: "This is terrible! Thought I was gonna live next to a powerful man. Now I just live next to power."
Bill: "It's not all bad. At least we'll get fresh electricity."
Lucky: "I know it's ugly, but living next door to a power station means our baby will probably grow up to have super powers."
Luanne: "And that will come in handy. Lucky's always getting pinned under cars." - Dale: "Hank is stinking up the place with all his boring facts and figures. People want damning evidence and courtroom drama. He needs to throw a briefcase like Mr. Brady. Something."
Lucky: "Now is the time the late, great, gay Perry Mason would spring a surprise witness."
Dale: "Yes, a surprise witness." - Bill: "I miss the sun. I'm tired a lot because my body thinks it's always night."
Luanne: "Well, I like it. I feel like we fell down a hole into a fairy tale, and now we live next to a beautiful castle."
Hank: "I can't tell if the burgers are done, because there's a got-dang turret shadow across my grill." - Peggy: "Last time I shaved my legs, this house didn't even have a second floor."
- Bill: "Devil House! First you took my daylight, now you want my blood?"
- Bill, about Ted Wassanasong: "Looking at him is like listening to smooth jazz."
Gallery[]
