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"Old Glory" is the seventy-first episode of King of the Hill. It first aired on January 9, 2000. The episode was written by Norm Hiscock and directed by Gary McCarver. Heather Locklear guest stars as substitute teacher Peggy Donovan.

Summary[]

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When Peggy writes an essay for Bobby and gets him an A, Bobby is labeled as the best writer in school and hides that Peggy helped him. In the side story, Bill saves a flag from retirement.

Plot[]

Peggy hears from Bobby that an old rival of hers, Peggy Donovan, has returned to substitute teaching after a three-year absence, during which time she has apparently earned her Master's degree. When Bobby later receives a failing grade on an English essay and is tasked with writing another, Peggy assumes that Donovan is taking her rivalry with her out on her son, suspecting that it all goes back to Peggy having been assigned a better parking space under a tree. Meanwhile, Bill is on the Army base when he notices an enormous United States flag about to be ceremonially incinerated according to flag retirement protocol. Overcome with nostalgia, he requests that the flag instead be allowed to continue to fly at his own residence, and Hank, Dale, and Boomhauer help him install a new flagpole for the occasion (in a scene recalling the Iwo Jima flag raising).

Bobby, struggling for a topic for his new essay, finds inspiration in Bill's oversized flag but still encounters difficulty in composing any text. Pandering to his mother's ego, he talks Peggy into writing the essay for him; she, eager to show Donovan up, is all too glad to comply. Peggy writes the opening of the essay as If you take the "U" out of USA, what do you get? "SA", an essay that will explain to "U" why Bobby Hill loves America. Sure enough, the essay receives an A, but Peggy becomes jealous when Bobby takes full credit, even as Donovan openly praises 'his' writing skills in front of her. Her frustrations are compounded when her Musings column is cut from the Arlen Bystander, and come to a head when Hank's attempt at reassuring her is to tell her to be more like Bobby, whereupon she indignantly reveals to Hank's angry dismay that she is the real author of the acclaimed essay. Meanwhile, word of 'Bobby's' talents spreads to his classmates, who begin asking him to write subsequent essay assignments for them. Stumped, Bobby secretly raids Peggy's unpublished Musings stockpile for material.

The plan backfires, however, when Peggy begins 'submitting' her columns again by buying advertising space in the Bystander to print them in, and Donovan runs across one, noticing that it reads word for word the same as another student's essay. Noticing that the rest of the class has turned in similarly written essays on unlikely topics, she tracks down Peggy, who assumes that her computer had been hacked into - until Donovan also reveals that several students had confessed to having Bobby write their essays for them. Peggy furiously summons Bobby, who reveals to Donovan that Peggy had written the original flag essay for him, saddling him with newfound expectations to maintain. A triumphant Donovan then insists that Peggy and Bobby confess and apologize at an upcoming schoolwide assembly, under the threat that she will otherwise lodge a formal plagiarism complaint with Principal Moss.

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Too proud to acquiesce to Donovan's demands, Peggy proposes instead that the two of them save face by giving an inspirational salute to the flag in a similar vein to the original essay, believing that any attempt by Donovan to turn them in will thereafter be dismissed as unpatriotic. The night before the assembly they decide to set up an elaborate display using Bill's oversized flag, which they set about stealing - only to tear and dirty it when they inadvertently run it over with Hank's truck. Later, their amateur pyrotechnics attempt causes the flag to catch fire during a rehearsal of their intended salute, and they are forced to abandon the idea entirely, anonymously leaving the charred, tattered remains of the flag in Bill's yard. Out of guilt, Peggy and Bobby accompany a distraught and tearful Bill to the Army base, where the flag is ceremonially incinerated at last. Later, at the assembly, Bobby admits that Peggy wrote his essay and many others', but then launches into an eloquent speech about finally coming to appreciate the flag upon witnessing a grown man crying at seeing one destroyed, thus foiling Donovan's plan to exact revenge from Peggy over the aforementioned parking space.

Characters[]

Stinger Quote[]

  • Bobby: "What works for me, see, is the cocoa."

Trivia[]

  • The episode name is a reference to the nickname for the U.S. flag: "Old Glory."
  • Hank's remark about Frank Gorshin's birthday means this episode was set on April 5th, 3 months after the episode aired.
    • It could also take place in 1999, considering that Peggy still has her Kaypro in this episode. Peggy's Kaypro and daisy-wheel printer are seen in this episode, despite the fact that she got rid of them in "Hillennium." Although this episode aired after "Hillennium," it was produced before that episode. Therefore, it could possibly take place before "Hillennium."
  • Peggy calls herself a "professional writer", despite the fact that she did not legally work at the newspaper office at the time.
  • Bill references Home Depot to his commanding officers, which results in their permission for him to keep the flag.
  • When Hank and the guys are raising the flagpole, it is done identically to the famous Iwo Jima flag raising.
  • Bobby states that he knows how to drive a truck. This is likely referencing "Good Hill Hunting," when Bobby drove Hank's truck for the first time.
  • Peggy Donovan is seen reading a book by Monsignor Martinez.
  • When Bill discovers his U.S. flag soiled, charred, ripped and crumpled on the ground, he wails in dismay and asks his friends who have gathered around, "What kind of animal could've done this . . .a bear?"
  • In "Hank's Choice", Hank claims that Ladybird does not sleep outdoors, yet she is spotted sleeping in a wicker basket on the patio.
  • Given the layout of the Hill house and its distance from Bill's house, it is unlikely that the flag would reach Bobby's bedroom window.


Season 3 Season 4 Season 5

Peggy Hill: The Decline and Fall · Cotton's Plot · Bills are Made to be Broken · Little Horrors of Shop · Aisle 8A · A Beer Can Named Desire · Happy Hank's Giving · Not in My Back Hoe · To Kill a Ladybird · Hillennium · Old Glory · Rodeo Days · Hanky Panky · High Anxiety · Naked Ambition · Movin' On Up · Bill of Sales · Won't You Pimai Neighbor? · Hank's Bad Hair Day · Meet the Propaniacs · Nancy Boys · Flush with Power · Transnational Amusements Presents: Peggy's Magic Sex Feet · Peggy's Fan Fair
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