Luanne Leanne Kleinschmidt (née Platter) (born July 29, 1979) is the daughter of Hoyt and Leanne Platter- though more notably the niece of Peggy Hill, cousin of Bobby Hill and niece by marriage of Hank Hill.
Luanne is a sweet, caring, but somewhat absent-minded and over-emotional young woman. Luanne is introduced in the first episode of Season One, where she is invited to stay with the Hills, claiming her parents need space to resolve some marital difficulties. Near the end of the first episode, a tearful Luanne informs Hank and Peggy that her mother stabbed her father with a fork during an argument, leaving her mother in jail and trailer home repossessed. Moving in to Rainy Street, Hank's beloved den is turned into Luanne's “temporary” bedroom.
Early in the series, Luanne was shown to be very good with mechanics, as she solves the problem to Hank's truck in the pilot, fixes Cotton's Cadillac when he comes to visit, and is occasionally seen repairing other vehicles.
Petite, shapely and blonde, Luanne is often considered a particularly beautiful young woman. She has large eyes, full lips, and stands at 5'4". Luanne primarily wears a lime green crop top that exposes her belly button and red shorts but is sometimes seen to be wearing a tight orange shirt and mid-blue jeans with a brown belt.
Luanne is sweet-natured but somewhat dimwitted, however, she does possess a certain level of common sense unlike the stereotypical "dumb blonde". She is also shown to be tough, ambitious, and hardworking. She demands respect, and is determined to escape her "trailer-trash" background, though she is not ashamed of where she comes from.
Luanne has always been enthusiastically religious with the Christian God, and became a born-again-virgin for that reason. Luanne attends a Bible study class and briefly taught her own Bible study class from her swimming pool. Of course, this attracted the attention of the neighborhood men. The Bible study ended when Mr. Strickland became so enamored with Luanne that he asked her to marry him, a request that was quickly declined.
According to Luanne, whenever she's faced with a tough decision, she asks herself "What would Jesus do?"
Leanne is Luanne's mother. At first Luanne loved her mother very much and longed for her parents and her to be a close, happy family. Leanne seemed to love Luanne as well and Leanne even named her daughter "Luanne Leanne" after herself. However, Leanne's alcoholism, selfishness and obsession with looking young resulted in Luanne not wanting anything to do with her. Despite this it is implied that Luanne may have visited her mother in jail or gone to her court hearings after she went back to jail. Leanne was among the people who attended Luanne's wedding.
When the series began, it seemed that Hank merely tolerated Luanne and showed few loving feelings towards her. He had a hard time relating to Luanne because he was unsure about how to deal with the ever changing emotions of a young woman.
Luanne remained living with Hank and his family until ("Texas City Twister"), where it was revealed that the trailer was merely tipped over and not repossessed. Hank, wanting to get Luanne out of his den and for her to become more self-reliant, attempted to get her to move back into the trailer. After Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer attached a winch to trailer and righted it, Peggy and Luanne went to clean things up and move Luanne back in. It was then revealed that the trailer carried many bad memories for Luanne, but she was willing to live there anyway and follow her dreams – stating that she could see the same stars from the trailer that she could see from Hank’s den. However, a tornado struck, tipping the trailer over once again. In an attempt to save Peggy and Luanne, Hank was caught in the tornado, making him realize how important family really was, and how much he did truly care about Luanne (though he would never admit it).
The near-death experience also changed Hank's views on his niece staying with him and he even decorated his den for her. However, he still wanted Luanne to be self-reliant, so he made her get a job as a drink girl at the La Grunta Hotel. When Luanne made some extra money, she wanted to buy Hank something really expensive to thank him for everything he’s done for her. The receptionist at the hotel suggested she buy him a round of golf, which gave Luanne the idea to buy Hank a swimming session with a dolphin – because it was more expensive. That idea went south, however, when the dolphin attacked him during the session. When all was said and done, Hank found out that Luanne was being harassed at work. This infuriated him and he ended up throwing the man harassing her into the pool with the dolphin who attacked him – causing the dolphin to be released back into the ocean. Luanne then turned the tape of Hank being attacked by the dolphin into “When Animals Attack” – much to Hank’s dismay.
Protecting Luanne became a recurring theme for Hank after that – proving that he truly does love and cares about her. Although, at times Hank Hill wishes Luanne would be more frugal with money and more serious with her life goals. When Luanne rents the house next door Hank is thrilled to have his precious den back.
It’s clear from the beginning of the series, that Peggy loves Luanne like the daughter she never had. On numerous occasions Peggy is seen protecting Luanne and comforting her when she’s upset.
When Luanne’s mother, Leanne is released from prison, Peggy is the first person to remind Luanne that her mother is an alcoholic and Luanne needs to be careful. Of course Luanne wants to hear nothing of this – dreaming that one day her family will reunite and be happy again. When Leanne inevitably falls back into her addiction and hurts Luanne, Peggy is forced to physically defend Luanne. At a neighborhood barbecue Leanne pulls a fork and threatens everyone. Peggy literally beats Leanne up causing her to run off with Bill Dauterive's car.
Although Peggy and Luanne were close before, they became much closer after the incident with Luanne’s mother – spending every Friday night together playing Boggle and other board games.
Luanne and Bobby are more like siblings than cousins, and Bobby claims that she's practically his sister. However in Naked Ambition, she reminded Bobby that she is his cousin while warning him not to see her naked. They often play practical jokes on each other and gossip frequently. Luanne is also seen breaking Hank’s rules to make Bobby happy – such as the time during the medieval fair when Hank told Luanne not to allow Bobby to wear tights and she clearly let him wear tights. She also cares about Bobby's well-being in religion, when she believed Bobby would go to Hell if he celebrated Halloween or if he tries to see her naked. In Born Again on the Fourth of July, Luanne says she is worried that if Bobby keeps skipping church, he will sell Gracie for pizza (since he stole from Peggy's purse to buy a pizza).
According to Bobby, Luanne is the hippest person he knows.
Luanne’s first boyfriend was a monosyllabic, rude, and incompetent clerk at the Mega Lo Mart named Buckley. It seems as though Luanne cared a lot more for Buckley than he did for her since Buckley's romantic zenith was presenting Luanne with a birthday present that consisted of some old CDs that he didn't want anymore, or showing up to Hank's house after he breaks up with her (again) with a box of chocolates, stating they're for himself for later. They were rarely seen speaking and when they were presented engaging in conversation, it usually consisted of Buckley making vague sexual remarks or breaking up with her. It was very clear throughout the series that Hank did not like Buckley and thought of him as a degenerate. In Luanne's Saga (Ep 5), during a short break up Hank states, Luanne had been with Buckley for three weeks. This implies they started seeing each other just after the Pilot. In the second season's finale, Buckley ignored Hank's advice not to drag around propane tanks by their nozzles, causing a gas leak that eventually blew up the Mega Lo Mart – trapping Luanne, himself, Hank, and Chuck Mangione inside. In the third season premiere, we learn that Buckley was killed in the explosion. Luanne, Hank, & Chuck survived, but Luanne lost her hair. She took Buckley’s death very hard, but didn’t respond typically. The incident led her to claim that she would quit beauty school and become a "photojournalist" (taking pictures of news broadcasts running on television). She also briefly became outspoken about starving Irish children, showing a picture of an underwear clad Bobby in his kitchen at Buckley's funeral, stating he is one of those starving children. Later, Kahn confronted her, indicating that she merely "put on a strange Sinéad O'Connor act" due to her grief. Eventually, she realized that her anger was a result of her pain over Buckley's death and finally allowed herself to realize what had happened and grieve naturally ("Death of a Propane Salesman"). In "Wings of the Dope", Buckley returns as an angel in Luanne's dreams helping her decide to quit beauty school in favor of community college. He redeems himself for his previous attitude by doing so, as we see at the end that he has earned his halo.
After a while of grieving over Buckley’s death, Hank decided Luanne needed to start dating again. Even though she claimed she wasn’t ready, Luanne met self-proclaimed genius Rad Thibodeaux at the Arlen Beauty Academy when she was giving him a haircut. He was extremely careful not to actually make a commitment to her, and used her to hold a party in Boomhauer's house while he was away. When Luanne confronts him about making moves to other women, he brushes her off. When Luanne declares she's dumping him, he casually states they were never official anyway. She mentions to Rhett that she and Rad were in an "on again, off again" committed relationship, but everything lead to sex.
Rad's Ex Best Friend
The only interaction Luanne had with him was sexual, as implied in Luanne Virgin 2.0, when she tells Hank of her previous sexual partners, saying she thinks they all liked her.
Only mentioned in Luanne Virgin 2.0. He works at Foto-Phast and is implied to smoke marijuana with his blood-shot eyes and emotionless voice. When Luanne goes to pay for the photos, saying she gets his employee discount as his girlfriend, he gives her the regular price, telling her "Its over, Linda." Luanne is confused until Peggy tells her he is breaking up with her, to which Luanne runs out crying. She reveals in the car they slept together, and later in the episode reveals he is the fourth person she's slept with, the others being Buckley, Rad, and Rad's ex-best friend.
She later becomes a born-again virgin in a church ceremony in which she vowed to never have premarital sex again, where she met Rhett Van Der Graaf, an insecure, neurotic virgin of twenty-two. Overcome by his own sexual desires, he quickly asks Luanne to marry him after only one date. She almost goes through with it, but changes her mind, calls the marriage off, and remains celibate.
Luanne almost got married a second time to a meat-packing tycoon named Trip Larson. Luanne eventually learns that Trip was only attracted to her because she looks identical to a woman in the company's original advertisement featuring the Swiss woman and a mountain climber posing with a pig. Trip, mentally unstable, had fantasized since childhood of being the pig in the advertisement, and planned to turn Luanne into the Swiss girl by dyeing her hair red and forcing her to dress in a frilly blue and white pinafore, so that she could care for him. Trip was subsequently killed in a bizarre accident in the slaughter shed when he tried to convince Luanne into committing suicide with him.
Luanne is introduced to Lucky (a buck-toothed, lazy, 36-year-old stereotypical redneck who supports himself by the money he got from “Slipping on pee-pee at the Costco” and then suing the company). When he and some of his friends begin harassing Kahn at his home. She walks over to put a stop to them when she is swept off her feet – much to the dismay of her Aunt Peggy. Luanne dates and then finally marries Lucky in a backyard wedding that every important character throughout the series run attended, including several one-time characters such as Hank's Japanese half-brother. (The characters were there as this was supposed to be the series finale).
She tells Peggy that although Elroy is the one referred to as “Lucky”, she considers herself the lucky one and whenever people call out for Lucky, she answers – believing they’re talking to her. Lucky consistently shows his devotion and love for Luanne, such as in "Life: A Loser's Manual", when he protects her from learning of her father's true location: not on an oil rig as she believes, but in prison. Lucky is the first romantic partner she had in the series that did not objectify her and only see her for her body, but valued her as a person. She eventually becomes pregnant with his child and gives birth to a daughter she names Gracie Margaret Kleinschmidt. Though, the baby's original name was going to be Lasagna (Luanne deciding this in her drugged state after giving birth and Lucky either wanting to please his wife or took advantage of her state). Peggy assures Hank she will make sure that name doesn't happen, and gives the baby the name Grace Margaret- naming the baby after herself (possibly also taking advantage of Luanne's state).
The Manger Babies
In another early episode ("Meet the Manger Babies"), a glum Luanne discovers a box of cheap sock puppets at a garage sale and uses them to create a Christian-themed puppet show called "The Manger Babies", about the adventures of the animals who witnessed the birth of Jesus Christ. Oddly enough, the Manger Babies include a six-legged octopus and a penguin. Its also odd that the babies witnesses the birth of Jesus, yet all their adventures take place in present times, with lessons like "don't sneak into a movie" and "Don't drink and drive" The popularity of Luanne's show lands her a part-time job performing weekly shows for local TV station Channel 84, a job she has maintained throughout the run of the series.
The manger babies' names are:
- Obadiah (donkey)
- Hosea (cat)
- Gurgle-Gurgle (Octopus)
- Sir Reginald Featherbottom III (a "very British" bird)
Eventually, Luanne was able to produce a Manger Babies DVD with the help of John Redcorn, which sold out on release. Luanne's success was very short-lived, however, and her popularity soon waned. In an attempt to regain her popularity, she revamped the Manger Babies into a modern "gangsta" style theme, replacing Gurgle-Gurgle with a gun character. However, she stole the idea for the gun from a children's book that Dale was intending to write. To get revenge on Luanne for stealing his idea, Dale stole the Manger Babies and destroyed them in a dryer. Only Gurgle-Gurgle remained (which she found after she threw it away), who Luanne still uses to entertain her daughter, Gracie.
When the series began, Luanne was beginning classes at the Arlen Beauty Academy, with the ambition of becoming a Hollywood makeup artist and successfully hiding the bags beneath Michael Douglas' eyes. Luanne proved to be a terrible hairstylist, and struggled to complete beauty school. Following Buckley's death, she had visions of Buckley in angelic form, who informed her that Jesus wanted her to take a different path. During one of these visions, Luanne crashed her car near the parking lot of a community college, where she was mistaken for a student, and the students who found her were genuinely concerned, unlike her Beauty School peers who usually made fun of her. Luanne took this as a sign to begin pursuing a higher education and dropped out of beauty school and enrolled in the community college. What she was studying was never made explicit, though in one episode she mentions "pre-med", in another she states she is a "pre-education major", and in yet another, implies that she's taking psychology, though her definition of the word to Peggy ("the disease of psychology") indicates she was probably failing the class. Luanne eventually drops out of college and fulfills her life long dream of becoming a hair stylist.
The "Lu Ann Platter" is a popular combination platter served at the Luby's cafeteria chain, and is a half portion entree with vegetables. This plate was the inspiration for the character name Luanne Platter. The cafeteria itself is characterized as "Luly's" on the show, and is claimed by Hank to have "8 types of ketchup and 3 types of catsup".(Luanne's Saga)
After quitting college, Luanne began working part-time at a hip unisex (albeit loosely) salon called "Hottyz" with Hank's friend Bill Dauterive, where her ability earned her the position of first chair (the closest chair to the door, reserved for the best stylist in the salon). Bill was only permitted to work at the salon because the other employees believed him to be a homosexual, under the assumption that only gay men can properly style hair. When the manager of Hottyz found out that Bill was a heterosexual, he was fired, but Luanne was offered to keep her position on her own as first chair. She instead decided to quit her position to remain fair to her partner and friend, Bill. Hank approached his increasingly-demented barber, Jack, about giving Luanne a job. Upon discovering that he would be "stealing" Hottyz' first chair, Jack happily accepted. Luanne left college and became a full-time hair stylist for Jack, and moved back in with the Hills (after an offer from Peggy) in order to save money.
- Episode 01: "Pilot"
- Episode 02 "Square Peg"
- Episode 05: "Luanne's Saga"
- Episode 06: "Hank's Unmentionable Problem"
- Episode 08: "Shins of the Father"
- Episode 09: "Peggy the Boggle Champ"
- Episode 10: "Keeping Up With Our Joneses"
- Episode 11: "King of the Ant Hill"
- Episode 12: "Plastic White Female"
- Episode 13: "How To Fire a Rifle Without Really Trying "
- Episode 14: "Texas City Twister"
- Episode 18: "Husky Bobby"
- Episode 22: "Bobby Slam"
- Episode 23: "The Unbearable Blindness of Laying"
- Episode 24: "Meet the Manger Babies"
- Episode 27: "Three Days of the Kahndo"
- Episode 29: "Hank's Dirty Laundry"
- Episode 31: "Leanne's Saga"
- Episode 35: "Propane Boom"
- Episode 36: "Death of a Propane Salesman"
- Episode 38: "Peggy's Headache"
- Episode 42: "Nine Pretty Darn Angry Men"
- Episode 43: "The Wedding of Bobby Hill"
- Episode 51: "Return to La Grunta"
- Episode 58: "Wings of the Dope"
- Episode 02: "The Perils of Polling"
- Episode 15: "Luanne Virgin 2.0"
- Episode 18: "The Trouble with Gribbles"
- Episode 17: "Fun with Jane and Jane"
- Episode 05: "Flirting With the Master"
- Episode 07: "Livin' on Reds, Vitamin C and Propane"
- Episode 11: "My Hair Lady"
- Episode 17: "How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Alamo"
- Episode 18: "Girl, You'll Be a Giant Soon"
- Episode 08: "Mutual of Omabwah
- Episode 09: "Care-Takin' Care of Business"
- Episode 10: "Arlen City Bomber"
- Episode 15: "Edu-macating Lucky"
- Episode 3: "Square-Footed Monster"
- Episode 7: "Straight as an Arrow"
- Episode 8: "Lucky See, Monkey Do"
- Episode 17: "Manger Baby Einstein"
- Episode 20: "To Sirloin With Love"
- Leanne (Luanne's mother) stabbed her husband with a fork, a stunt which landed her in prison. She returns briefly and attempts to reunite with Luanne, but her drinking problems return and she is not seen again until Luanne's wedding, where she is seen briefly in the back.
- At the time of their reunion, Leanne mentions she is only around 14 years older than Luanne, meaning that Leanne had intercourse with Hoyt when she was a teen and he was an adult. However, she was probably lying about her age at this time, as she wanted to appear younger than she actually was.
- She is very good at water-skiing and tends to do it without a life-vest or water-wings.
- Luanne had alcohol multiple times before she was actually twenty-one and of legal drinking age.
- In "Movin' On Up", Hank (who knew she was under twenty-one) let her have a beer.
- Luanne appeared to inherit Peggy's brown 1985 Buick after Peggy receives her convertible.
- Luanne is the only person Peggy trusts to be her catcher (while playing softball).
- Luanne is a very talented mechanic, but has no interest in repairing cars other than to help out her family.
- Luanne has a birthmark on her bottom in the shape of a Honda key.
- Luanne cries at weddings.
- According to Hank, Luanne has fifty stuffed animals on her bed.
- Luanne's shoe size is a women's five (the same as Nancy, as she inherits her boots).
- Luanne lasted three rounds in the ring with Freeda Foreman.
- Luanne thinks the army is mean.
- When driving, Luanne rarely uses her blinker.
- Luanne signs her name with a heart.
- Luanne has had five sexual partners in her lifetime (including her husband, Lucky).
- Luanne uses Tae Bo (a kick boxing class) whenever she needs to destress.
- Luanne is a talented topiary artist.
- Luanne once tackled a woman who was charging at Peggy during a softball game.
"No, Uncle Hank. Mama and Daddy are still fighting."
(sobbing) "Mama's in jail. She was saving a quart of beer for before bed, and Daddy threw it out and she went after him with a fork! And the trailer tipped over, and everything went upside down and it's gonna be on Real Stories of the Highway Patrol! And the wig I designed for the Beauty Academy is gonna be ruined! Oh, Uncle Hank, what am I gonna do?"
"Dear Lord, I don't wanna go back to college so please help me be sexy. Amen."
"It's like God takes our picture...before He kills us."
"I'm wearing shorts."
”AHHH! AUNT PEGGY! MR. KHAN SAW ME NAKED!”
(When talking about picking up a pizza) "Why the rush, Aunt Peggy? If we don't get there in 30 minutes it's free"
"Boy. Aunt Peg the words I don't know could fill a dictionary"