|Livin' on Reds, Vitamin C and Propane|
|Season 8, Episode 7|
|Air date||December 14, 2003|
|Written by||Dan McGrath|
|Directed by||John Rice|
After the Mold Rush
Rich Hank, Poor Hank
Livin' on Reds, Vitamin C and Propane is the one hundred-fifty-sixth episode of King of the Hill. It was first aired on December 14, 2003. The episode was written by Dan McGrath, and directed by John Rice. Guest stars include memorable country western artists Trace Adkins, Brad Paisley, George Strait, and Travis Tritt.
On the days before Christmas, Hank's mother, Tilly, loses her best friend and is contacted by her lawyer, claiming that the will left all of her friend's antique furniture to Tilly. But a problem persists, as Tilly lives in Arizona, whereas all the furniture is left in Arlen. Hank offers to help his mother by transporting all the furniture to Arizona for her. Tilly is pleased, but warns Hank a standard moving van may be too small for such a payload. Hank ends up renting a truck, impressing Bill, Dale, Boomhauer, and Bobby. Hank invites Bobby to tag along with him for the trip, but not the Rainey Street men, causing them to grumble of the unfairness. It is soon 4 in the morning and Bobby and Hank are preparing to head out, with Hank promising to return by Christmas. True to Peggy's self-importance, she feels inspired to compose a novelty Christmas song about this in the vein of "Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer" or "Frosty the Snowman", figuring it a way to make a fast buck. As Hank and Bobby make their foray through the backroads, Hank is teaching Bobby about the fundamentals of handling an extra large vehicle, while Bill, Dale and Boomhauer are revealed to have stowed away with the cargo and soon begin playing with the furniture. Later, as Hank and Bobby pass through the desert, the hull of the truck becomes increasingly hot and the group becomes desperate and miserable from the heat, failing to anticipate such high temperatures or to bring water. Bobby and Hank soon stop by at a truck stop to a restaurant through a "trucker's only" line. However, after sitting down and talking with some truckers, the waiter and the truckers do not recognize Hank as a trucker but a "guy with a truck". Hank staves off such an insult by pointing out how well kept his big rig is, only to be humiliated and laughed at as Dale, Bill and Boomhauer escape the hull of the truck, half naked and dehydrated, after firing some shots with a gun to open the door.
An angered Hank repairs the hole the group made and is forced to go through a sleepless night of driving to compensate for the lost time. Meanwhile, Peggy decides the song she and Luanne are making is going to be about a snowman who is taken home by Hank and Bobby; as they sing the song to Nancy, who has grown concerned about her husband's whereabouts, Peggy and Luanne start to divide their ideas on how the song should be sung. As Hank is driving through the road, he is growing increasingly tired; he stops by a truck stop for coffee and sends Bobby so he can keep an eye on his friends. When Bobby returns, Hank has dozed off. After overhearing the same truckers that heckled Hank at the previous truck stop, Bobby decides that Bill, Dale and Boomhauer will make up the trouble they caused by helping Hank get on ahead of schedule. But as the group approaches a bridge with a 14 foot clearance, the group panics and exits the wrong direction, only to exit in the wrong direction again. Soon, after dreaming about arriving in Arizona and enjoying a Christmas with his mother, Hank wakes up to see snow falling outside of his truck. Dale then informs him they're having trouble with the engine and the clutch, and that they got themselves stranded atop a mountain road.
Hank is informed that the fuel has been depleted and the battery went dead from the group overusing the headlights. Now distressed and furious, Hank punishes Bill, Dale and Boomhauer by putting them behind the "Line of Shame" (though he lets Bobby off easy, because he was trying to help). Hank sadly considers abandoning the trip and decides to call Triple-A and some movers. Bobby soon intervenes and convinces his dad that truckers are in trouble all the time, but they do not know the meaning of the word quit, and that those earlier truckers were wrong, his dad is a true trucker. Hank then decides to figure out how to get off the mountain with what the truck has, while not damaging or destroying any of the payload. After Boomhauer discovers a small amount of kerosene in some antique lamps, Hank decides to have the truck move backwards by the slope of the mountain to recharge the truck's battery, while the iota of kerosene can be used to fuel the truck due to being an excellent subsitute for diesel. After navigating through steep and sharp turns thanks to Boomhauer's instructions via radio, the truck finally starts up and functions, and the group is on their way to the nearest truck stop. As the group arrives a truck stop, a group of truckers recognize Boomhauer's voice from listening on CB, and realize such a move would have been certain death for most truckers. The group is even more impressed when they ask Hank if he was using any stimulants, but Hank fails to understand the slang and says he does not like foofy flavored coffee, just regular. This further impresses the group that Hank drove solely on instinct and skill, and wonder why Hank and his friends are in the non-trucker area, they should be in trucker! The truckers, when noticing the broken headlights and mirrors, decide to help the group by forming a caravan. Back in Arlen, Luanne sings her new song to Nancy, only to have bothered her during a missing persons report to the police. The episode ends with a song over the end credits called "The Ballad of Hank Hill". showing a montage of Hank and the truckers proceeding to Arizona, on schedule, then Tilly hosting a Christmas party for Hank, Bobby and all the men who helped them.
- Hank Hill
- Peggy Hill
- Bobby Hill
- Luanne Platter
- Dale Gribble
- Nancy Gribble
- Jeff Boomhauer
- Bill Dauterive
- Big John (cameo) - Voiced by Trace Atkins
- Tilly Hill
- Sally (cameo) - She is the voice of the country artist Deana Carter
- Cornell (cameo) - Voiced by George Strait
- Walt (cameo) - Voiced by Travis Tritt
- Chip (cameo) - Voiced by Brad Paisley
Dale: "Duck, duck, Goose!"
Hank: "What the-?"
Bill: "I'll get him Hank".
Hank says that he has a class C Licence, however you need a class A licence in Texas to drive a semi-trailer truck.
During the montage of Hank and the truckers proceeding to Arizona, the entire caravan is shown stopping at the drive thru of Shack in the Box, which is a parody of Jack in the Box, an American fast-food restaurant chain.