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"Hank's On Board" is the one hundred-eighty-seventh episode of King of the Hill. It was first aired on September 18, 2005. The episode was written by Sivert Glarum and Michael Jamin, and directed by Allan Jacobsen.

Summary[]

Hank is the odd man out when his friends don't invite him on vacation, and realize that his friends have always avoided him whenever they go on vacation. Meanwhile, Bobby uses Peggy's grocery money to buy a metal detector.

Plot[]

In the alley, Hank and Bill watch as Dale and Boomhauer each prepare to leave for the weekend. As Dale bids farewell to the two, Hank notices his van making a strange noise and insists on driving around the block to figure out what the problem is. As they do, Boomhauer suddenly jumps into Dale's van with his luggage.

With Dale's van being towed, Bill voices his annoyance at believing Dale and Boomhauer were ditching him every Memorial Day weekend in order to go fishing. That night, Hank tells Peggy about what happened and that he also believes that Dale and Boomhauer have been keeping their trips secret from Bill on purpose. Even though Hank is understanding of needing time away from Bill's behavior, he still thinks it is up to him to fix the situation. He does so the following day by convincing Dale and Boomhauer to let them and their families join them in heading to Corpus Christi for the weekend.

On the way, the guys are in Boomhauer's car when Hank starts to become a backseat driver in instructing Boomhauer where to drive based on other vehicles and drivers around them. As they begin a friendly but mocking conversation of women watching reality shows, Hank cuts off the conversation when he thinks Bill overdid himself when mentioning feminine products. After stopping at a gas station for a bathroom break, Hank notices numerous cases of beer taking up a seat in the car. Dale claims the price for the beer was too good to ignore but now only three people can fit in the car. Bill right away claims the available seat and promises to Hank that he will be on his best behavior during the rest of the drive. With Hank now riding with the wives and boys, he finds himself listening to the ladies talking about meal planning and Joseph turning his eyelids inside out.

Making it to the beach, everyone is starting to get settled when Bobby notices they are out of potato chips and offers to go to the store to buy more in Peggy's place. Peggy is reluctant at first but agrees, giving Bobby the money for the entire food budget in the process. It is at this point that she and Hank notice that the guys have yet to arrive and feel certain they have gotten lost since Hank had seen Bill take control of the map at the gas station. Shortly after, the three missing men arrive. They explain that they did get lost but claim it was a blessing in disguise as they ended up having a great time eating tacos and purchasing new hats. As they go on to frolic on the beach, Hank suddenly realizes that it was actually him that Dale and Boomhauer have been avoiding.

Peggy tries to talk with him about his hurt feelings and admits that Hank tends to be bossy with the three. Hank tries to explain that he is controlling because he knows how the three are when they get carried away in their merriment. Peggy suggests that Hank try to relax more and let the guys be in charge of the weekend in order to get back in their good graces. Hank voices how he thinks this is a bad idea but agrees to do so. Later, after Bobby dismisses Joseph's plan to see a woman topless, they come across a man selling metal detectors. Joseph talks Bobby into using the money Peggy gave them to buy one as it would surely help them find treasure and become rich.

Back on the beach, Hank manages to start things off right by joining the guys in making Dale into a sand sculptor of a mermaid. He then asks about the boat they will be using and sees Dale point to the Queeg, a boat larger than Hank thought they would need. Dale explains that he and Boomhauer do not actually make the trip to fish and really try to locate the sunken treasure of a Spaniard ship. After Hank informs Peggy about their plans and leaves, Bobby returns and informs Peggy that he used the food money to buy the metal detector. Instead of being upset, Peggy praises Bobby for his purchase.

Out on the boat, Hank is having trouble accepting they are on a treasure hunt until Dale informs him, they will be fishing while the boat is on autopilot and will use a sonar system to locate the treasure. On the beach, Peggy and Bobby have only started using their metal detector when some elderly locals inform them that they cannot scout the beach since they are from out of town. When Peggy points out that the beach is public and for everyone to use, they agree to let the locals have the first sweep and they will go after.

On the Queeg, Hank finds himself loosening up and having fun with the guys in charge. As he phones Peggy to inform her of how things are going, the guys start doing cannonballs off the boat. Urged by the others, Hank jumps off but then notices that the ladder to allow them back on the boat was not lowered beforehand. This naturally causes them to start panicking about how they are going to get back onboard. At the beach, Peggy sees how the locals are finding missing items with ease until she and Bobby come across a particularly interesting find.

After some time has passed, the men start to find themselves at each other's throats, becoming exhausted from treading water, and no closer to finding a solution. As Hank starts to take control of things, Dale suggests they make their confessions in case they don't make it. After Boomhauer admits that he dyes his hair, Dale confesses that the sudden joyful comradery between himself, Boomhauer, and Bill was all an act. He tells how the three of them had started arguing after making Hank ride with the families and that Hank is the one who keeps them together and from doing things that would be incredibly disastrous.

Figuring that they will not survive, Dale decides to smoke his last cigarette. Seeing an opportunity for rescue, Hank tells Dale to throw the cigarette onto the fuel leaking from the boat due to Boomhauer pulling off the propeller earlier. Dale is hesitant to throw away his last cigarette but agrees to do so. The smoke from the fire catches the attention of a rescue helicopter.

As the sun is setting, Peggy gets the attention of the local hunters when she reveals to have found the head hunter's keys. However, she is not so quick to return the keys based on rules the hunters themselves put into place and will only hand them over if they give her and Bobby all of the items they found that day. Reluctantly, the hunters agree.

After being rescued and Hank pointing out each individuals' actions that helped, the men state that they know they mess up all the time and that Hank is the real reason they are still alive and well. The episode ends with Hank dismissing ideas to celebrate their rescue but nevertheless agrees to get something to eat.

Characters[]

Stinger Quote[]

  • Dale Gribble: [laughs] "Nacho cheese!"

Trivia[]

  • The guys admit to Hank that they actually didn't have fun when they rode in the same car without Hank like they said they did. They say all they did was argue and that Hank is what keeps them all together.
    • However, since Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer are usually seen doing things without Hank (and without fighting) through the series, they may have been saying this to make him feel better.
  • It is possible Dale and Boomhauer go on the trip to get away from both Hank and Bill, with Hank being too uptight and Bill being too needy. Though Boomhauer is a voice of reason like Hank, he is also easier going and open to nearly any crazy scheme Dale thinks of. Dale can also come off needy like Bill, but he can manage his loneliness much better.
  • Dale is seen driving Boomhauer's car as he, Bill, and Boomhauer are arriving to the beach. Back in the episode "It's Not Easy Being Green", it was implied that Dale could not drive stick and ended up destroying Boomhauer's Mustang (named Sally). It is possible that Dale could have learned to drive stick shift some time later.
  • Boomhauer claims to dye his hair but it is not clear if this is true or something he said in a time of duress.


Season 9 Season 10 Season 11

Hank's On Board · Bystand Me · Bill's House · Harlottown · A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Clown · Orange You Sad I Did Say Banana? · You Gotta Believe (In Moderation) · Business Is Picking Up · The Year of Washing Dangerously · Hank Fixes Everything · Church Hopping · 24 Hour Propane People · The Texas Panhandler · Hank's Bully · Edu-macating Lucky
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