Grand Theft Arlen
Season 11, Episode 8
Air date April 29, 2007
Written by Sanjay Shah
Directed by Ronald Rubio
Episode guide
The Passion of Dauterive
Peggy's Gone to Pots

Grand Theft Arlen is the two hundred and ninth episode of King of the Hill. It was first aired on April 29, 2007. The episode was written by Sanjay Shah, and directed by Ronald Rubio.


While having breakfast, Hank sees that Bobby is playing video games for homework. When he asks why, Bobby states that it is an alternative to P.E., and he does not want to take the Presidential Fitness Test for fear of embarrassment. This enrages Hank, who drives him to the class later that day, sending him to real P.E. and not Virtual P.E., as the alternative class is called. He notices the door, and confronts Principal Moss. He explains that the class added more computers, which the school board suggested. Hank meets two student-teachers who anger him because they mistake him for a janitor and generally treat him with disrespect.

When Hank comes home, Joseph asks Bobby for help on a game for Virtual P.E., which is about propane. The game is entitled Pro-Pain!, to which Hank remarks is misspelled, and the main character is revealed to look exactly like him. Later, at work, Buck tells him to play the game to see if there is any viable material to support a copyright infringement case. Hank is horrified at the criminal actions that can be taken in the game.

Later, he invites his friends to show it to them. Dale practices a technique called "brain-hand", where he supposedly mentally shuts off his brain and moves it into his hand. Bill then takes control, but dies within seconds trying to find Peggy. Hank then notices that there is a Manager mode, and begins playing again. He watches a man steal a woman's purse, and he goes after him. He chases him in a bobtail truck, before jumping out and chasing him on foot. He punches the thief and reclaims the purse for the woman, realizing that the game could be played for good, not for evil.

Meanwhile, Joseph has taken over for training Bobby, and Bobby actually begins making progress. He is able to lift himself off the ground in a pull-up, enough to let a piece of construction paper between his feet and the ground.

Hank's addiction to the game increases, and Buck tells him to stop playing, because the game is actually in the public domain and a lawsuit would result in no financial gain. Hank continues, and also gets a new controller. Bobby continues progressing, being able to do a few jumping jacks and a pushup. He proudly shows off to his father, but is ignored. Peggy confronts Hank and tells him that there is a brown spot on his lawn and his son, meaning they are both being ignored. She finally convinces him to stop by telling him that people who own fancy electronics are called "technosexuals".

Hank picks up on training Bobby, trying to get him to get his Game Boy for him. Bobby sees this as a test and refuses. Eventually, Hank is back in the alley, where Dale has figured out how to drink his beer through osmosis. Bill mentions that the game can be played online, which renews Hank's interest. He pulls his controller from the garbage as Ladybird stares at him. Hank returns to playing the game, and Peggy turns to the creators, the student-teachers from earlier. They say that gamers often quit playing through humiliation or seizures. Peggy aims for humiliation.

As Hank is attacking other virtual Hanks online, he notices one that won't die, no matter what he throws at him. The other Hank kills Hank's virtual self, when it is revealed that Peggy is playing that invincible Hank. She is in Commissioner mode, and Hank asks to try the mode out, but Peggy self-destructs the Commissioner Hank, ending the game permanently. Hank stops, and states that it feels good to blink.

At the football field, Bobby's parents watch as he does a pull-up, but is unable to do any more, and does not pass the fitness test. Hank encourages him by showing that he did one more pull-up than several other struggling students. They decide to continue training, although Hank denies him permission for him to shave his body hair for aerodynamic purposes.


  • The episode, the title and the game "Pro-Pain", is completely based on the game series "Grand Theft Auto".
  • Urban Outfitters is a popular clothing retailer that sells trendy items; It is most popular with the youth.
  • When Hank got the controller out of the garbage, the bottom was missing meaning it could not be plugged in.
  • Alabaster the Pimp makes a return as a character in the game.
  • Right after Peggy holds up her controller and says "There is no one above me, and I can't be killed," the position of the red and blue buttons switches.
  • The controllers that are used for the game closely resemble the Xbox 360's controller.
  • Hank plugs the computer back in after Peggy unplugged it and resumed his game right where he left off. For a wired in computer like a desktop, he would have had to reboot the computer and all his game progress would have been lost.
  • If you look closely at Peggy's computer, you can tell that it is a Windows XP.

Stinger Quote

Virtual Hank: "Taste the meat, and the heat!"

Hank (after he stops gaming): "It feels good to blink again!"

Peggy: Bobby, what do you want for breakfast?

Bobby: Anything. NO Fruit!!!!

Season 10 Season 11 Season 12

The Peggy Horror Picture Show · serPUNt · Blood and Sauce · Luanne Gets Lucky · Hank Gets Dusted · Glen Peggy Glen Ross · The Passion of Dauterive · Grand Theft Arlen · Peggy's Gone to Pots · Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow · Bill, Bulk and the Body Buddies · Lucky's Wedding Suit