Bill of Sales

Bill of Sales
Air date	March 12, 2000
Written by	Paul Lieberstein
Directed by	Dominic Polcino
Episode guide
Previous	"Movin' On Up"
Next	"Won't You Pimai Neighbor?"

"Bill of Sales" is the seventy-seventh episode of King of the Hill. It was first aired on March 12, 2000. The episode was written by Paul Lieberstein and directed by Dominic Polcino.

Summary

When Peggy discovers that Bill is a natural salesman, she quickly takes advantage of his talent.

Plot

At night in the Hill residence, Hank sees Peggy in her study and claims that he was getting a lot of interference on the bedroom TV, suggesting that Peggy go to bed with him. Rejecting his suggestion, she claims that as the former manager of Sugarfoot's, she is accustomed to setting her own hours. Hearing Hank state that he understands her missing the restaurant, Peggy clarifies that she actually misses managing people and watching them follow her orders. Hank responds that she can ask Tom Landry Middle School to let her do more substitute teaching, but she says that it is not enough for her anymore. As she reads the newspaper, Peggy notices an advertisement calling for a natural-born leader who can motivate themself and own their own car. Believing that it applies to her well, she calls the phone number in the ad to ask about their work.

The next day, Peggy visits the house of Laney Grambler, a regional sales associate for MetaLife. After listening to Grambler's pitch, she asks her what MetaLife is exactly about, to which Grambler answers that they sell products for living. The sales associate also tells Peggy that she has a number of people who sell for her and does a little bit of management. Excited, Peggy cheers that she can get a management job and notices a pin on Grambler's jacket, asking her what her other pin signifies. Grambler specifies that she earned the double diamond pin because of her $10,000 sales figures in February, adding that Peggy can be her own boss if she sells for her, pleasing her.

Outside his house, Bill sees a deliveryman carry a MetaLife package to the Hill house, so he runs up to the mailman and claims that he can sign for the package. Immediately, Bill visits Peggy at the front door and offers her the package because he did not want her to be bothered. Ignoring his inquiry about her current activities, she orders him to put the package down and go back to his house, closing the door on him. In the dining room, Peggy gathers Hank, Bobby and Luanne around to teach them about the products that they will sell for her. Learning that Peggy's saleswoman job is essentially having other people sell for her, Hank views the concept as a pyramid scheme, though Peggy denies it and claims that MetaLife's logo is actually a triangle while her "scheme" is an opportunity. Wanting them to start work as soon as possible, Peggy recommends that Hank should sell the products at work while Luanne should sell to her friends at college.

Later, in the alley with his neighbors, Dale apologizes for his Y2K hysteria. Visiting the four men, Peggy asks Dale if he wants to buy an energy bar for his health, but he declines because he is "going the other way" by smoking and drinking. Boomhauer likewise declines to buy anything, but Bill agrees to buy something. Despite his interest in the products, he only offers a quarter, causing Peggy to tell him that with 25 cents he can only buy a soda 20 years ago. Going throughout the neighborhood, Peggy first tries to sell her products to the Souphanousinphones, but Kahn and Minh laugh off her offer. Similarly, Peggy is shunned by all of the other residents to whom she attempts to sell. Returning home in defeat, she again declines to sell to Bill despite his willingness to purchase anything.

A week later, in her study, Peggy summons Hank and Luanne to report their sales to her. To her dismay, Hank only made one sale at Strickland Propane because he felt he could not sell food items at a propane dealership. To her further shock, Peggy learns that Luanne mistakenly believed her goods were free samples and accordingly gave them all away. In response, she fires Luanne, who is actually relieved to be let go, and Hank unsuccessfully tries to convince his wife to fire him instead. Hearing the doorbell, Peggy answers it and sees Bill, sternly asking him what he wants. Bill tells her that he accepted one of her packages. This at first frustrates Peggy until he assures her that he managed to sell all of the products at Fort Blanda Army Base, offering her all of the profits. Amazed at the quantity of cash, Peggy declares that she will use Bill, making him giggle.

The two go to Whataburger to discuss the sales deal, and Peggy explains that Bill must meet a sales quota of $10,000, which at first makes him hesitant until she decides to stop talking with him if he pulls out. Accordingly, Bill quickly meets his sales quota by selling the products at his army base again, even selling energy bars to a U.S. Army general. Reconvening with Peggy, Grambler is impressed by Bill's sales and asks her if Bill is excited about the San Antonio sales conference. Peggy learns that only Bill and a guest can go to the conference because he is the actual seller. Afterward, she visits Bill at his house and informs him that he will attend the conference and must bring her as his guest. Soon, Peggy is driven by Bill to San Antonio, where they find their hotel and check in, learning from the guest service agent that they must share the same room. Heading to their room, the two learn that they are staying in a suite, and Peggy is ecstatic to see that their room is next to the one belonging to Marty VanHoldt, MetaLife's regional sales coordinator.

They enter their room and are pleased that the company's CEO Mike Desmond has given them a complimentary bottle of champagne. Although Bill demeans himself and says that he will sleep in a chair by the hotel pool, the delighted Peggy tells him that he can sleep in the same room on the couch. Back at the Hill residence, Hank, Bobby and Luanne find it awkward to eat dinner without Peggy and decide to eat while watching television, something that Hank normally forbids. During the sales conference, Peggy eats with fellow salespeople and learns from Dean and another man that there is a nationals conference for the best sellers, intriguing her. Excusing herself to talk with Bill, she asks him to double his sales quota, to which he agrees. Peggy then relays this news to Grambler, who is excited and agrees to supply her with the 2,000 bars. That night, Peggy and Bill walk through town when the latter informs the former that he already sold half of the bars to the hotel, making Peggy extremely happy. To Bill's surprise, she offers him her double diamond pin and showers him with compliments. When she proclaims her love for him and kisses him on the cheek, Bill is displeased and scorns her, exclaiming that he will no longer be her salesman.

The next day, Peggy tries to cancel her large order, but Grambler adamantly refuses on the basis that she supposedly cannot return product because it is how the "system" works. Her employer threatens her to reemploy Bill or else Marty VanHoldt will greatly reprimand them. In her neighborhood, Peggy tries to win back Bill, but he angrily and continuously rejects her request. At her house, she relays her difficulty in rehiring Bill to her family. Hank assesses that Bill has always known pain and suffering throughout his life, such as his marriage and divorce to Lenore Dauterive. Getting an idea from Hank's words, Peggy realizes that Bill likes to be treated like dirt, so she asks Bobby and Luanne for some ideas on how to belittle Bill. On another day, she visits Bill as he waters his plants and insults him, also using reverse psychology by claiming that she doubts he can actually sell the bars. Wanting to please her, Bill promises to sell for her again.

In a short period of time, Bill physically exhausts himself by continuously selling and carrying the heavy products that Peggy supplies to him. One evening, the tired Bill decides that he needs to quickly rest to check his foot, but Peggy warns him to not take any breaks. Taking off his shoe, he discovers that he bleeds from his left foot due to popping a blister from his continuous walking. Peggy is shocked at this, but Bill ignores the pain and agrees to continue his work for the day. Realizing that he has treated him horribly, Peggy fires him. Shocked, Bill pleads with her to reconsider, but she explains that she has not always been kind to him and has only been taking advantage of him to boost her own "already healthy" self-esteem. She apologizes and forces him to accept her apology, concluding that she considers him to be a friend. Relieved, Bill remarks that he views the MetaLife model as a pyramid scheme, which Peggy agrees with but admits that it was fun while it lasted.

Characters

• Hank Hill
• Peggy Hill
• Bobby Hill
• Luanne Platter
• Dale Gribble
• Bill Dauterive
• Jeff Boomhauer
• Laney Grambler
• Marty VanHoldt
• Dean
• Mike Desmond
• Kahn Souphanousinphone
• Minh Souphanousinphone
• Fort Blanda Army Base soldiers
• Lenore Dauterive (mentioned)

Stinger Quote

• Hank: "Of course, I'm still in the propane business."

Trivia

• This is the first episode to feature Peggy's new computer (a Christmas present from the episode "Hillennium"), which is modeled after a Blueberry iMac G3.
• Dale apologizes for his "misguided Y2k hysteria." This is referencing the episode "Hillennium".
• Peggy comments on how she's still adjusting to a life without Sugarfoot's, implying this episode is shortly after the events of "High Anxiety".
• In the short montage at the end of the episode where Bill is seen loading and unloading multiple boxes into his car, the song being played is an instrumental version of "Workin' Man Blues" by Merle Haggard.

Gallery